We have all been there. Well, not there exactly, but we have all experienced that moment in a video game where a simple task becomes a logistical nightmare. Usually, it involves a stubborn horse or a poorly timed jump. However, the team at Dwarven Brothers has decided to take that frustration and turn it into a hilarious, high-stakes stealth experience.
We Are So Cooked is a 1-4 player co-op game that asks a very simple, albeit dark, question: You and your friends have accidentally killed someone; how on earth are you going to get rid of the evidence?
It’s basically “Weekend at Bernies” the video game, if you remember that cult film and sequels from the late 80s and early 90s.
The Weight of Your Consequences
The idea is pretty straightforward, but the execution (pun intended) is where the “physics” part of “physics-stealth” really shines. In most games, a fallen foe is just a static object or a disappearing sprite. In We Are So Cooked, the body is a heavy, floppy, and incredibly uncooperative protagonist in its own right.
If you choose to tackle the cleanup solo, be prepared for a slog. Dragging a body alone is not only slow, but it leaves a conspicuous trail of blood that is essentially a “follow me” sign for anyone suspicious. It is a lonely, stressful endeavour that makes you realise why having reliable friends is a literal life-saver.
Teamwork Makes the Dream Work (Usually)
When you bring in the squad, the game transforms into a lesson in communication—or a recipe for a friendship-ending argument. The “Team Lift” mechanic allows up to four players to grab a limb each. While this makes you significantly faster, it requires an kind of coordination usually reserved for professional rowing teams.
If your friend on the left leg decides to zig while the person holding the right arm decides to zag, you aren’t just moving slowly; you are likely dropping the evidence down a flight of stairs or wedging it into a doorframe. It is a chaotic dance of momentum and panic.
Obstacles, Vases, and General Mayhem
The environment looks to be just as much of an enemy as the ticking clock. The physics engine ensures that the body snags on every conceivable corner. You’ll find yourself navigating laundry carts, trying not to knock over expensive (and loud) vases, and praying the body doesn’t slide off a ledge at the worst possible moment.
Technical Specs: Can You Handle the Heat?
For those looking to jump into the cleanup crew, the barrier to entry is quite reasonable.
| Component | Minimum Requirements | Recommended Requirements |
| OS | Windows 10 | Windows 11 |
| Processor | Core i5 6600 | Intel Core i7 8700 |
| Memory | 8 GB RAM | 8 GB RAM |
| Graphics | GTX 970 | GTX 1070 |
| Storage | 5 GB available space | 5 GB available space |
While the tone is light-hearted in its chaos, the developers do note that the game contains general mature content, so it might not be the best choice for a lunch break at the office. However, for a Saturday night in with friends, it looks like the perfect way to test your coordination and your conscience.
The game is set to be officially announced, but there is a steam page available and ready to add to your wishlist.
